Once Upon a Honeymoon Suite

On Ana Diosdado’s 321, 322

Ana Diosdado
(Buenos Aires, 1938 - Madrid, 2015)

An interesting innovation was posed by playwright (and novelist and actress) Ana Diosdado when 321, 322 premiered in 1991. Unlike Noël Coward’s Suite in Three Keys (1966), or Neil Simon’s Plaza Suite (1968) and California Suite (1976), which showed different occupants of the same hotel suite in each act, Diosdado’s two-act play stages what is happening in both suite 321 and suite 322 at the same time. No, we are not meaning a scenic design split in half; the whole stage represents both suites, so their occupants share the same space (i.e., during performance, the actors playing characters from one suite take no notice of the presence of the others throughout the show).

Regarding what is the predominant interest for us here in spanishgayfiction.blogspot.com, we are going to respectfully ignore the events in suite 321, and focus on what is cooking in the other suite. Let’s take a sneak peek. . .

Jorge and Sara are newlyweds: both young and beautiful and shiny happy at first sight ― what could be wrong with them? They love playing charades envisioning what their marriage would become several years from then. . .and the audience can soon notice through these games an obvious underlying dialogue dripping unexpectedly disillusioned, disquieting thoughts for honeymooners.

Sara seems far from being the typical bride. In her opinion, the wedding has been ridiculous: both her mother and Jorge’s quickly took charge of the plans, preventing the bride and groom from making any single choice. Why the rush after only a three-month engagement? Jorge told his mother that Sara was pregnant; his family is a wealthy traditional family, so the wedding had to be celebrated. Concerning Sara, she does not care; just living with Jorge and remaining unmarried is OK with her, but ― given her working-class background, the in-laws presume that she has married Jorge so as to climb the social ladder. Is she really that ambitious?

The truth is that Sara is not expecting. How could she? They have never had sex with each other. Sara has been waiting for tonight to ask Jorge the reason of his unjustified respect for her all along, as Jorge has already been in the know that she is sexually experienced. Jorge is reluctant to answer but, after Sara’s strong insistence, he shyly admits his genuine virginity. His wife finds it peculiar, so she suggests whether Jorge may not like women at all; Jorge gets serious and claims that he does indeed. The wife gives in (for the time being) and blames his unspoiled status on his mother’s hidebound influence. This controlling lady even makes an urging call to her sonny that night: Thou shalt not covet thy own wife. . .until she gives birth!! On account of the official version stating that Sara is only at her second month of pregnancy ― Just do the math. Now that the bride and groom can enjoy the sweet advantages of marriage, Jorge wants it to happen pronto; as if it were about a surgical intervention the patient is hoping to end soon. . .

Another of Jorge’s singularities is that he usually interacts with an invisible St. Bernard called Buby. According to him, Buby sleeps every night at the foot of his bed, and tonight is no exception. Sara has always been understanding and gone along with Jorge, but she also wonders whether this delusion of his should last much longer ― It seems to be the night of disclosure, so Jorge reveals that Buby truly existed in real life; his late father gave it to him when he was a child, and some years later a truck ran over poor Buby and. . .Back then Mother explained that heaven is no place for canines, therefore Jorge determined that Buby would stick around, though unseen. Sara gets emotional, and you can see in her disposition that she will never try to change her husband’s mind again; Jorge sees her resolution as a bigger act of love.

Jorge’s life goal was becoming a professional musician, but his mother persuaded him to get a degree in business administration instead; furthermore, an occupation in the family business and a brand-new sumptuous flat are waiting for him after the honeymoon. As long as they stay together, Sara does not mind Jorge’s career decision. On the contrary, Jorge feels that his wife got captivated by the flawless property acquisition, exposing her feigned attitude of unselfish girl from the wrong side of the tracks. Straightforwardly, Sara questions her husband whether he believes that she is a gold digger. Jorge does not bother to deny; then Sara breaks out and asserts that his only aim is acting as a regular heterosexual guy in his mother’s eyes, since Jorge secretly loves his gay friend Chema ― What a bomb! Jorge gets incensed; he opts to take Buby for a walk, and the woeful wife shuts herself in the bedroom.

Later, Jorge comes back to the suite under the influence, seeking after Sara into the bedroom. After a while, Sara emerges furiously: she condemns Jorge’s disgusting macho behavior there in, as if he needed to prove his cojones. Jorge suggests that they would rather pretend nothing happened and give it another shot; Sara agrees. . .but this time she will leave the bedroom all disenchanted.

Subsequently, Sara remembers how gleeful Jorge looked the happy occasion when they two and Chema danced avidly all together; now it is about time that Jorge must choose only one dancing partner. Eventually, Jorge confesses that he has been in love with Chema; Sara reacts proposing a separation. He worries about scandal, and vows to be always faithful. But now Sara is positive that Jorge got married because this is a much comfier position for him than an openly gay relationship;[1] she recommends Jorge to quit the family job and go on tour with his band, of which Chema is also a member. Some months later, when Jorge will be back, they can discuss their future; right now he must leave Sara alone in the suite and book another one ― tomorrow he shall take Sara back to her family home.

All is over for this young couple. . .Or at least that is what it seemed; before tomorrow comes, Jorge enters back the suite determined to talk Sara into not throwing in the towel for now. Jorge agrees about the tour, but with a difference this time: one band member less ― yes, that one ― and for good. Sara is finally at ease now; so the reunited are ready for their first breakfast together as a married couple. . .and Buby can wait outside. THE END.

However ― what will become of these poor guys? Why should Sara trust that her husband will never break his vow? How can Jorge be sure that he will never fall for another man again? Are they really going to make each other happy, or devastatingly frustrated instead? Well, life is too complicated ― we all should agree about that. While we keep caught in this web of mingled yarn, Diosdado’s characters decide to put the ill aside. It might only take the time they are enjoying their breakfast, but no one can refuse to this pair their right to esteem that they have found Prince Charming in each other for a while ― the rest of their lives? Not our business.

We are not going to conceal that we have an annoying feeling with this play. Jorge’s homosexuality is more or less subtly related to an absent father and a possessive mother; thus, Jorge is depicted as quite naïve and confused. . .He even stays friends with an invisible dog from childhood now in his twenties! ― No problem so far: a positive picture of a gay man does not need to portray a kind of absolute superman. But we find rather controversial the idea that his sexual orientation is just a childish stage from which one could get over with the little help of a regular woman with a down-to-earth viewpoint that Sara (arguably) represents. We are dealing with a piece of literature from the last decade of the 20^th century here; not too distant from our times and customs ― that is why we expect a less therapeutic, more normalized treatment of the topic.[2]

Anyway, our reading might be much more serious than what Ana Diosdado could probably expect when she wrote the play: the stage directions suggest an unreal atmosphere, so let’s think that the author was, just like her creations, fooling around.

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[1] Remember the fact that 321, 322 premiered in the early 1990s, when same-sex marriage was a still-to-be-legalized right to fight for.

[2] We can find a similar situation in Diosdado’s script for a popular Spanish TV series: Segunda enseñanza (“Secondary Education”), 1986. In episode 8, “Tabúes” (“Taboos”), a female student, Sisi (Aitana Sánchez-Gijón), expresses her feelings for her female teacher Rosa (Ana Marzoa); in response, Rosa hopes that Sisi’s homosexuality is just a teen phase that she is just going through ― if not, the girl will have a friend in her, in any case.

Interview with Antonio Heras

Fetishism, pornography, self-publishing, prejudices ― and sports! They are some of the issues that Antonio Heras (Jaén, 1979) talks about with regard to his gay erotic collection Un blanco fácil. Please be our nosy guest.

SPANISH GAY FICTION: You have opted for self-publishing. What advantages and disadvantages do you find in this way of publishing?

ANTONIO HERAS: I was very reluctant at first. I wanted to become a writer the conventional way: supported by a publishing company. And they did for some years; Armado de impaciencia (“Armed with Impatience”),[1] my first book, was published in 2014 by a traditional publishing company. And in 2016 a company specialized in e-books launched my novel Tus palabras sin sentido (“Your Meaningless Words”).[2] However, when these contracts were over, I decided to launch these two books on my own. On one side, to try my luck; on the other, to enjoy more control and information over the product contents, ways to reach the reader, etc. I liked the adventure, though in the last few months I am up to move my books from Amazon to Lektu,[3] a platform that seems to be friendlier to both users and authors. In short, my experiences in both self-publishing and traditional publishing do not differ much: the sales were way low on both occasions.

SGF: How was the creative process of Un blanco fácil?

AH: I uploaded the title story of the collection as an experiment. People bought and I got driven. “What if I add another story?” Thus, I recovered a couple of old stories, and people kept buying. Then I said to myself: “What if I add another story for every purchase?” And that is what I did ― though there was a moment when more than twenty stories had to be included, so I stopped. Anyway, it helped me assemble the current collection ― which finally consists of nine stories (some produced just for the book) ― and I really loved the experience. My idea was that the original purchasers could update their eBook, but I am afraid that it has been impossible for some people, and Amazon has not offered me the right solution. In any case, if these readers ask me, I will send the complete book. Besides, the printed book, that some friends of mine have been demanding, will be for sale in some weeks.

SGF: Nowadays accessing to visual material with pornographic content is easy and usual, and most users do it for the sole purpose of getting horny. Does erotic fiction just fulfill the same function?

AH: Generally speaking, I think it plays a different role. Or at least it has a different sense of timing. If someone wants to jerk off, they just need to search for videos or pictures online: there is a world of massive pornography at their disposal. Conversely, literature needs something else from the reader; it requires more attention, and it is not that straightforward. It can work for getting excited, of course, but in a different level, I guess; perhaps more up in your mind rather than down in your underwear. Quality in literature is hard to achieve, no matter the genre; as an author, I have learned not to cry with anger and impotence every time I read my writings again.

SGF: There is a common denominator in all the stories: gay eroticism. However, each story belongs to a distinctive genre, as a means to avoid reiteration at any cost.

AH: That is right; in my stories I wanted to avoid a succession of clichés and topical scenes: they meet, they fuck, the end / they meet, they fuck, the end. . .As an author, I had a wonderful time mixing genres on the common base of eroticism; I wish the same to the reader.

SGF: Is there any author or piece of erotic fiction that you esteem as an example in your writing?

AH: I do not usually like reading erotic literature; at least, not the mainstream. However, I remember Almudena Grandes’s The Ages of Lulu[4] ― a brilliant novel ― and also the works of Marguerite Duras, Henry Miller. . .I do not know whether they can be considered as erotic fiction writers, after all. Perhaps they can. Oh, wait! I almost forget the immense Marquis de Sade (whose painful depravation is beyond words), Dennis Cooper, my favorite (living) author, and Jean Genet, my favorite (dead) author.

SGF: Does gay erotic fiction have a wide audience?

AH: My works do not sell well. If I had to live off my book sales, I would have died from starvation years ago.

SGF: There is a common leitmotif throughout Un blanco fácil: the sportsman and his equipment. How important is fetishism in creating erotic fiction? What is your personal attitude towards fetishism?

AH: Fetishism can be a very useful tool for erotic fiction, indeed. Whatever it seems, I am not quite kinky; I choose the person rather than the object.

SGF: In the title story you pun on the real names of famous footballers. According to you, why has no elite footballer come out publicly at this stage in the game?

AH: It is a shame that no foremost male footballer has opened out about a sexual orientation different from heterosexuality in our days. The blame may fall on sponsors and football clubs mainly, but also some mossbacked supporters (at least, the prevalent voices on the media). Anyway, this is an individual choice; the courage to show your self should be stimulating enough. Elite sportsmen from many other disciplines came out DECADES ago, serving as big examples for generations of fans of all ages. In a society in which football is such an important and popular and profitable business, a top-level footballer daring to make the first move would be a turning point. I know no case in real life other than a famous event that happened years ago: there was a player ready to come out on the cover of Zero magazine,[5] but they said that his club eventually prevented him from doing it.

SGF: And the reason why you selected the names for your characters from the list of Real Madrid CF players is. . .

AH: The reason was truly banal: they were just the ones that I felt physically attracted to the most; at least, the late 90s/early 00s squads. Besides, I found funny the double meaning in blanco fácil.[6] The story was originally written for a website in which users romanticized about the hottest footballers of the hour, and they even produced (mostly pornographic) stories about meetings in locker rooms, showers, etc.; to sum up, jerk-off material. A couple of years ago, while searching for other stuff on my computer, I accidentally found the file and occurred to upload it online.

I do not like laughing at anyone by branding them as gay; for me, that is a homophobic, counter-productive attitude. The theory that homophobes are repressed homos underlies too latent homophobia, and it really does not help the LGBT cause at all.

SGF: The story “Homo Sci-Fi,” in which the female character is flicking the bean while peeping into two guys having sex, reminds me of a trend in American erotic fiction: women writing M/M fiction for other women mainly. Why has not this movement repeated in our country?

AH: I honestly have no idea. I think that it is an interesting kind of fiction; it reminds me of the yaoi and bishōnen concepts: erotic and romantic Japanese comics featuring gay boys whose main audience is young girls.

SGF: Regarding the story “El cuarto de la plancha,” imagination helps break the barrier between the labels homo and hetero. Do you believe that human beings are actually bisexual?

AH: I feel that personality and closeness are key facts in sexual attraction; in that sense, there may be a moment when that presumably self-imposed barrier dividing your likes and dislikes might fade away.

SGF: In “Con-tacto” you depict a common place in erotic fiction: getting fondled by a stranger at the subway. Have you ever experienced it by yourself?

AH: Yes, it happened to me once, but I spare you my reaction.

SGF: Concerning the story “Hermanos,” have you ever known of any case of brother-brother incest personally?

AH: No. If I knew, I would not see it disgusting; I would try to get to know them ― though I would feel a kind of awkward, or curious about their living through it, no doubt. I think that this issue is still quite taboo, at least in our society.

SGF: In “El colgante,” when the male protagonist has sex with his friend, you say: “It is his pureness what he likes the most; there is nothing artificial around him. Nothing surrounding him, squeezing his body; there are no watches or necklaces, no earrings or makeups” ― Can it be considered the very author’s declaration of principles?

AH: No, there is usually no declaration of principles in my writings; not that clear, at least ― there must be principles, for sure, though accidentally ―. Anyway, it is the character’s thoughts what is shown in that quote. He seems to have a too narrow view of the circumstances around him; it may be a sexist, or at least patriarchal, view. Connecting falseness to the image of a woman is something absurd and old-fashioned: from ancient times, almost from original sin.

SGF: You work as a member of the protection staff in a museum. If any given day you had to face a situation like the one narrated in “Artistas terroristas,” what would be your reaction?

AH: People who must handle visitors daily in their workplace know from experience that surrealist situations are commonplace, and you meet people who could inspire a short story or a short film, at least. In “Artistas terroristas” I tried to invoke a recurring fear: visitors trying to damage the exhibited works in a fit of madness ― though they do it in such a strange way in my story. In that case, my reaction would be like anyone else’s, I guess: I would get scared and use my walkie talkie to call the security guards.

SGF: The portrait of a sexy man with a small penis in a non-negative, non-problematic way seems to be a taboo in erotic fiction.

AH: Hot men with small penises, with no six-packs, of a certain age. . .There are so many taboos and prejudices, and we must break them all down; not only in erotic fiction (not only in general literature, in fact) but also in real life, in the way we interact with the others.

SGF: Tell us about your upcoming projects.

AH: I have finished a vampire novel full of blood and glitter, now being tested by beta readers. If everything goes as planned, it will be launched after summer. If published by a company or myself (in that case, it would be on Lektu), that remains to be determined. Besides, during this quarantine period I am back to another unfinished novel; it deals with criminal investigation and investigative journalism on serial murders in a small town where corruption is king. I hope that the draft will be completed this month or the next one. Also during this confinement I have finalized the script for a web series, and the filming could start this year. I keep managing my two blogs as well: Armado de impaciencia and Gayumbos Ezine. And I will continue to upload unpublished material on Lektu.

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[1] This short story collection won publishing company Luhu’s 1^st queer literature contest award.

[2] Romance novel set in the 19^th century London.

[3] New online marketplace for selling digital (mainly e-books) and physical products with the aim of becoming a meeting point for the rights of authors, publishers, and readers.

[4] Original title: Las edades de Lulú, 1989. Grandes’s first published novel, astonishingly successful back then, is a highly-praised erotic narration about a woman’s sexual awakening. A homonymous film based on the book was released the next year.

[5] Spanish LGBT-themed monthly publication, extremely popular during the first decade of 2000s, which served as a suitable platform for coming out nationwide. The cover boys? From show business celebrities to priests and soldiers; quite a stink in certain circles.

[6] The pun has already been explained in the post reviewing the book (footnote 1).

This Sporting Lust

On Antonio Heras’s Un blanco fácil[1]

Cover design by
Héctor Valdivia

Here in spanishgayfiction.blogspot.com we believe in the old saying that if life gives you lemons, make lemonade; just put an end to foul mood all along this quarantine period with this recently-published collection: nine short stories in kaleidoscopic tones displaying a wide range of gay erotic amusement. Are you ready?

In the first story, “Un blanco fácil,” we meet Tidiane, a French footballer of a leading team from the Spanish league first division, who usually suffers sexual touching when tackled by other players during both training sessions and matches. In one of those matches Tidiane trips up a player of the rival team, and this guy vows revenge. When the game is over, Tidiane is pushed into a dark room; he is afraid that he is going to be forcibly assaulted ― nothing could be further from the truth: the rival makes the most of Tidiane, who has a great time in turn. This very first homosexual experience rouses our superhot hero’s deepest desires; he needs to repeat with another guy. . .why not a sexy teammate?[2]

“El cuarto de la plancha” (“The Laundry Room”) narrates a constantly interrupted vague dialogue between two 15-year-old boys; they use to shut themselves in the room which the title reads to jerk each other off. One of them finds the situation awkward; moreover, they are cousins. . .The other boy advises him to think of his dream girl in the process ― May it eventually work?

“Hermanos” (“Brothers”) shows how two apparently antithetical siblings behave by themselves when parents are away for the weekend and friends pass up a gathering for a wild house party. Heaven knows what this chance for intimacy may come―

In “El colgante” (“The Pendant”) eroticism and horror are all mixed up due to a supernatural event: a woman runs into a strange pendant lying on the street, and immediately she feels a quirky fascination; she does not even imagine that this moment will make her life all upside down, eventually leading her boyfriend into the loving arms of the most unexpected bedmate ― By contrast, the woman will face a much more different fate.

“Con-tacto,”[3] the shortest story, tells an anecdote with a comical result: an office worker rides the subway after a hard working day; he feels a hand on his right thigh, and he initially thinks it belongs to a pickpocket. Wait! Is that another hand? ― To sum up, let us say that this man is eager to go back home and make use of his own hands. . .while taking a steamy, satisfying shower.

“El tenista yugoslavo” (“The Yugoslavian Tennis Player”) is Mirko Kerkovich, who is said to be really nasty. Ricardo, a gay physical therapist for elite players unceasingly repressing his lust for his patients, has got the short straw: today he must render his services to that brute. More closely, Ricardo will realize that barking dogs never bite; the session will result in a really exciting party, at which Kerkovich’s Dunlop racket will be the king!

“Cruising Interruptus” has the same atmosphere as a good mystery novel. A properly concealed huge drainage pipe is used as a discreet cruising point for many anonymous lovers in a park. However, a series of bloody, atrocious murders committed in the place will wholly empty this locus amœnus, since every man fears for becoming the next emasculated victim. Months go by and the police still do not catch the killer. . .Nevertheless, a hot Moroccan called Moha is determined to look into by himself; his scheme cannot be riskier: Moha will use himself as bait ― Whatever the means so that new homo generations can enjoy a peaceful spot for cruising.

The title of the next story is explicit enough: “Homo Sci-Fi.” A starship commanded by a woman travels to a space station on a scientific-business mission, the author says. The crew: two men. One of the guys, the scientist, alters the anaphrodisiac pills B-13 so that the other one, a 19-year-old boy, can feel sexual appetite again; they need to take advantage of a few days left before a long-lasting hibernation!

The last story in the book, “Artistas terroristas” (“Terrorist Artists”), deals with a weird wave of terrorist attacks on museums worldwide. Singular is the word for the offense: they jerk off and shoot the seminal fluid against mankind’s biggest works of art ― even the religious-themed ones! ―; to make things worse, the corrosive sperm destroys the pieces hopelessly. Is there any possible way to stop this chaos?

Isn’t it grand? Isn’t it great? Isn’t it swell? Isn’t it fun when a single book includes a miscellany of genres? Horror, romance, mystery, satire, fantasy, queer. . .The great achievement in Antonio Heras’s incisive style is injecting an outstanding humor into his detail-oriented erotic fiction; Un blanco fácil is the puissant combination of a kicky exhibition of sexual activities ― sport fetishism is predominant throughout the book ― and a delightful illustration of skillful writing. In short, an invitation to relax and enjoy yourself.

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[1] The title is a pun based on the plot of the title story. Blanco means target as well as white (like the color of the protagonist’s team uniform; i.e., a synecdoche for the player himself); fácil signifies easy: like the English term, it can express both not difficult and promiscuous. Thus, the title can be translated as An Easy Target, and also as A Promiscuous Player.

[2] The whole story is a funny joke grounded in the use of names that thinly disguise the real players from Real Madrid CF’s galactic era ― as it was popularly known ― in this fictional República de Madrid squad: apart from Tidiane (a.k.a. Titou), we can find Rigoberto, Oker (the goalkeeper) and a Portuguese player called Filipe.

[3] The author inserts the hyphen in the original term contacto (“contact”) to make a play on words: con tacto can be translated as courteously, making clear the character’s agreeable impression when being fondled.

Interview with Julia Ortega (Niamh Byrne)

Under the pseudonym of Niamh Byrne we find an old friend of this blog: Julia Ortega (Barcelona, 1971) strikes again! LGBT rights, social media, class difference, or sexism in education are some of the current topics discussed. Please do not miss out.

SPANISH GAY FICTION: Why did you decide to publish Contigo hasta el infinito under a pen name?

JULIA ORTEGA: This is my first novel set outside of Spain entirely. I use this pen name, which is of Irish origin, from this very year on for all those novels that do NOT have Spain as the main scenario.

SGF: On the dedication page you acknowledge all the people who work continuously to make visible and legitimize LGBT relationships.

JO: LGBT community rights must continue to be claimed today as much as when I started the novel. Back then I was assigned this project—another challenge of mine—, and it finally has come into existence. If I can make Frankie and Gigi win not only LGBT readers’ hearts but everybody’s, I will have achieved my goal.

SGF: Your book portrays a long-distance relationship built through social media. What is your opinion about this new, increasingly more common way of maintaining a love relationship?

JO: So-so. New technologies have made the world smaller, and now people are closer—and more distant at the same time! Let’s say that social networks help those facing actual problems to mix with in their most immediate context. That is the case of Gigi, who was pathologically shy during adolescence and would not in her wildest dreams have dared to approach someone like Frankie. Personally, I think that social networks remove these barriers and make communication easier between apparently incompatible people.

SGF: Frankie believes that opposites attract. . .Do you think the same way?

JO: No doubt. May that relationship last or end over time, that is another story.

SGF: It is very curious that neither Frankie nor Gigi had lesbian experiences before meeting again. Do you have knowledge of other similar stories in real life?

JO: To me, Love has no gender. This is not a question of being lesbian or heterosexual. In this case, we are dealing with bisexuality instead of homosexuality. I do not mention it in the novel, but I would say that Gigi had no kind of sexual experience until her mid-twenties, when her relationship with Frankie begins. This is also quite believable since she is more romantic and, as I said before, she finds harder to mix with others.

SGF: When these class differences happen in a real-life couple, is it harder for the low-class to adapt themselves to the environment of the high-class, or vice versa?

JO: Everything depends on each one’s intentions, their good will to solve certain conflicts. Although today’s class difference is not as noticeable as in past centuries, it remains. The problems are different, but the relationship still means a challenge for both extremes.

SGF: Which one do you identify yourself with most: Frankie or Gigi?

JO: Both. I am much more cynical than Gigi, and that makes me more similar to Frankie. Anyway, Gigi is a dear, one of the few people who still believe in human kindness.

SGF: I remember that in the previous interview we talked about social tolerance towards LGBT community, and you mentioned that there was so much hypocrisy about it. Do you still feel the same?

JO: There is everything under the sun. It may do not have to do with the topic but the beholder. It seems as if only a few people are able to talk about the subject discerningly (i.e., high-profile authors.) And what about us? We cannot have knowledge, an opinion, and if we can, they do not read/listen to us. That is the way it was years ago. Fortunately, things are changing and, yes, I have to thank the social media phenomenon, you see?

SGF: Why did you choose Glasgow and Amsterdam as the settings of Contigo hasta el infinito?

JO: Back then I happened to see both cities as opposing settings reflecting the mood of each of the protagonists somehow. I am not sure but I guess that, as it took a long time to write the novel, my feelings now the book is finished are therefore not the same than the ones I had when I started it. This may be a clichéd view, but what story is not at some point? By the way: unlike the plot of Caprichos del destino, there is nothing autobiographical in this story.

SGF: When I stop to think of the easy-going relationship between Frankie and her ex Dutch boyfriends, my conclusion is: “This would not have been possible years ago.” Do you think that in our society, and especially among younger generations, there is a much laxer view of sexuality?

JO: Much the same: it takes all sorts to make a world. My book is not setting a precedent, seriously. If I describe a very, very, very laid-back relationship among Frankie, Jan and Björn, that is because I have seen similar things in some films, other novels, or even people that I know or have known sometime in my life.

SGF: It seems that you are eluding the most melodramatic ways of romance novels throughout the book. Was it a voluntary decision?

JO: That is because this is not a romance novel. This is a love story, but it deliberately departs from all the (rigid) straits of the genre. I like love stories, but I dislike some—if not all—of the (obligatory) patterns so frequently found in bodice rippers. It also has to do with extension; Contigo hasta el infinito is a novella/novelette. I could not expand on certain aspects which, furthermore, are not relevant and can distance the reader from the main theme: the relationship between the two women.

SGF: Was anyone an inspiration for the arrogant Brianna MacFarland? 

JO: There are so many Briannas around the world, controlling people who want everybody to dance their tune only; people who do not accept other alternative ways of living/loving/feeling. It is not necessarily a question of money or power, though in Contigo hasta el infinito those elements are more recurrent. The outstanding point is that Gigi eventually stands up to her mother and takes the reins of her life. After all, we are not talking about teen love, but a relationship between adults who know what they want.

I have not been inspired by anybody in particular. If you want to put a face to Brianna, I myself visualize Cate Blanchett.

SGF: When Karen learns that her daughter Frankie is a lesbian, her only regret is that she would have liked to become a grandmother herself. The MacFarlands also had other expectations for their daughter. Do you view parents as generally thoughtless of their children’s own aspirations?

JO: Well, here we are back to the topic of the hypocritical society to which you must please, no matter what; always dictating the rules, imposing the standards; it states whom you have to marry, how many children you need to have, their future occupations, and a long et cetera. If someone defies the rules, he is pointed out and not for the good precisely. In the long run, this causes unhappiness, and no parent wants it for their children. “Behave well, and you will be happy and live quietly.” That is the mantra. “Do not rebel, otherwise we all will suffer the consequences.” This seems very much like the 19^th century, but it unfortunately still applies in some families, especially those (like Gigi’s) which, because of affluence or social position, are in the public eye.

SGF: When will Frankie be totally honest with her mother and confess that she is not a lawyer?

JO: We may never see that [Laughs.] Everyone can imagine a continuation in their own way. The story is self-conclusive, so there is no sequel. By the end, the two of them are living their relationship freely, and that really is a happy ending in every sense.

SGF: You describe Ethan as someone who has not enjoyed too much family love just because he is a man. Do you feel that those gender differences in education still occur?

JO: Well, Ethan is a very peculiar character that has not too much relevance because, as I said before, I did not to want to mislead the readers from the pairing Frankie/Gigi. Does he deserve his own novel? Maybe, but I have not considered this so far. I do not rule it out, but it cannot be possible in the short run. And, yes: less and less, but there are still certain differences between boys and girls in respect to education. It has to do with society and parents—the main educators—as well.

SGF: Both the boisterous Hannah, Jan’s last fling, and the young customers of the store where Frankie works are portrayed in a very sarcastic way. At your age, is there something that you would like to preach them?

JO: Not at all. Youth has its peculiarities, and maturity has its own. My descriptions are not intended to be critical, only anecdotal and fun; just a reflection of the current society, but with no condemning tone by a long shot. Hannah’s episode is one of the multiple ways of introducing Jan. Sometimes anecdotes and experiences tell a lot about their protagonists.

SGF: In Frankie’s mouth you put a wish that in the Obama era the film industry will show more homosexual relationships and different types of families. In hindsight, do you think that it happened like that?

JO: I cannot say for sure, but if I were an American film producer and an African-American becomes the President of the United States, I would know that I have to reflect it in some way, as this is not just an ordinary change. It represents an unprecedented historical and social milestone. That must be explained, especially to the younger generations, in order to show them that another freer world is possible. I saw The Princess and the Frog[1] and I loved to see an African-American protagonist in a Disney movie. And, like Frankie, I bet that we will see a homosexual relationship in upcoming animated films.[2] But now we are in the time of Trump. . .

SGF: Can you tell something about your upcoming projects?

JO: OK, it will be a psychological thriller set in USA and published under the pen name of Niamh Byrne again. That is all I can tell.

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[1] This Walt Disney picture was released the very same year of the first inauguration of President Obama: 2009.

[2] For instance, in 2012 we had the opportunity to see an animated film with a gay (supporting) character on the big screen: Mitch—voiced by Casey Affleck—in ParaNorman (Focus Features-Laika Entertainment)

Rich Dyke, Poor Dyke

On Niamh Byrne’s Contigo hasta el infinito (“To Infinity with You”)

This time spanishgayfiction.blogspot.com presents a 2019 new released novel concerned with the love story between two 30-year-old girls at the crossroads of their lives. The narrator is Frances Donahue, a.k.a. Frankie, one of the girls in question. This big, tough, silver grey-eyed Scottish blonde wants us to know her story, and we learn from her that she is currently (we are in 2015) living in Amsterdam after graduating from Law School. No, she is not a lawyer—she claims that she is not precisely fond of books—; Frankie’s forbidding façade (a body covered up with spooky tattoos, crowned by a surly expression) makes her the perfect intimidating clerk for annoying, foolish customers in a clothing store. She also smokes like a chimney, follows the unhealthiest diet ever, and keeps her small apartment as messy as it gets. Can you picture this butchy Bridget Jones in Law School? Neither can we. But, you know, everyone has a weakness for someone, and now it is time to introduce Frankie’s mother, Karen. This woman has been working as a cleaner for 18 hours a day aiming to finance a college degree to her daughter. Frankie did not dare let her mommy down. Now Karen believes that her daughter is a successful lawyer. . .and Frankie is not refuting at all.

Karen is also pitiable since she is married to Jack, Frankie’s father; a rowdy boozer, a gambling addict, a male chauvinist pig, and therefore the most deserving target of his daughter’s poisonous remarks. As a matter of fact, witnessing her parents’ marriage has made Frankie skeptical about couple relationships since her early years. No matter how hard-bitten Frankie strikes as, Karen can read her daughter’s mind: Frankie is just seeking for true love.

Has she already found it? All we can say is: HELL YES!! It was June 2010, and Frankie was just chatting through Facebook. There she discovered an old high school classmate, Georgia MacFarland. By those days they were not friends: Georgia was the shy poor little rich girl, and Frankie was the wild elusive low-class lass. That is what we call irreconcilable differences! However, Frankie believes that opposites attract; this contact became gradually closer, and now, five years later, they are a solid duet. Funnily enough, both Frankie and Gigi (Georgia’s pet name) had been heterosexual so far. In her college days, Frankie used to hang out with two boys by turns. . .without their knowledge!

This doublet is planning to live together once that Gigi has finished her two-year PhD in Medieval Studies in the University of Glasgow. Frankie would like to settle down in Amsterdam: this place means FREEDOM for her. Au contraire, she finds Glasgow as no city for bold dykes. Any trouble ahead? Neither of them has talked to their families about their true sexual orientation and each other’s sweetheart yet. Anyway, Frankie just wants to relax; that is why she is taking a few weeks off from work. She would love a purse-to-purse meeting with Gigi, but her girl is about to do her thesis defense. No time for love. . .Sometimes Fortune smiles on you in the weirdest ways, and Frankie becomes a lucky girl thanks to a call from her brother Ethan. Have not we talked about him yet? Ethan is 8 years elder than Frankie, and left the family home when he turned 18. He was a third rate professional boxer, but now he is running a club in Edinburgh. Frankie sees her brother as a younger version of Jack: the quarrelsome kind, a loose cannon neglecting his kins, this relative you only meet again for Christmas. Ethan informs his sister of Jack’s getting his way again after leaving Karen penniless; and now Frankie must support mom (financially, of course): if Karen does not pay the rent, she will get evicted.

Every cloud has a silver lining; this trip to Glasgow will be a happy time to pay Gigi a surprise visit! Also, these two lovebirds can set their families straight about their romance once and for all. It is springtime in the gay city of Amsterdam, and Frankie feels enthusiastic about her upcoming projects. This evening she decides to meet her ex Jan. No, she is not missing his Amsterdammertje. She just wants someone to enjoy the moment with (and have some drinks with too!). When Jan learns about Frankie’s scheme, he cannot help some joking. Gigi is the only daughter of Nathaniel and Brianna MacFarland, who met in a fox hunting season. Thanks to the family fortune, Gigi can afford a long-lasting college background as well as the twosome’s expenses when meeting in diverse European capital cities. . .Contrary to the popular belief, webcam sex is not enough for Millennials too. . .This quasi-regal family, who can trace their lineage back to Adam, own a country seat in Balmoral close to the Windsors’ summer castle. The MacFarlands cannot hardly wait for their little girl to wrap up her doctoral degree (which they find needless), and then pick a husband of similar status. May an over-tattooed, foul-mouthed punk from the slums of Glasgow be the front runner? Jan warns that Frankie’s surprise might get the other way round—

Back to the misty Glasgow, mother and daughter reunite after a 6-year separation. Karen senses that Frankie is infatuated; then it is about time to have an open and honest conversation. Karen’s reaction is not negative, though she suggests her daughter not to let be seen with Gigi too much in order to avoid becoming the talk of the town. She also finds weird to keep a relationship through social media. To Frankie’s surprise, Karen shares that Ethan has started to give her money occasionally. Wow! That means Ethan is maturing. Now Frankie is not the only member of the family backing the mother. That is a relief! After good news, Frankie lets passion lead her footsteps to the college residence.

When knocking on Gigi’s door, an unfamiliar voice answers back. Frankie steps in, and she is received by the very Brianna MacFarland with her most disapproving glance. Gigi introduces Frankie to her mother as an old high school classmate. Brianna takes advantage of the moment to criticize her daughter’s judgment: her unscrupulousness in choosing friends, her inclination towards public education. . .Mother and daughter have an argument before an astonished version of Frankie. Gigi eventually manages to get rid of Mrs. Almanach de Gotha. At last! All by themselves after a long, long time. Frankie has been missing her freckly, red-haired, violet-eyed Chanel devotee so much!

After a deep-lady pond diving, Gigi tries to downplay her mother’s words. She also claims that Glasgow has changed a lot since Frankie flew to the Netherlands, and LGBT people can live easier in the most populous city in Scotland. It seems that Gigi has also changed; she is not that timid girl constantly worrying about what others think of her anymore. Just when they are about to take another dip, Karen is calling to reveal that Jack has been hit by a car. Frankie becomes speechless, but she does not shed a single tear. Gigi knows well that Frankie’s hooligan style is just acting; she does not want to be seen crying, just that. This is Gigi’s moment to demonstrate that she is up and ready to fight for their love, and the first step is getting to know a part of Glasgow that she has never dare set foot before.

A week after, this is the way things are: Jack is buried, and Gigi is living with Frankie and Karen in their humble abode. Gigi and Karen have hit it off from the start. Gigi is comforting both Frankie and her mother, and Karen finds it incredibly sweet. Karen compares her daughter’s woman to a beautiful maiden from ancient times. In parallel, the Donahue Girls provide with a quiet atmosphere for Gigi’s finishing touch to her thesis.

And the big day has finally arrived! While Gigi is having a rough time before the examining board, Frankie receives a concise message from Brianna: they need to talk. The appointment will take place in the fanciest hotel in Glasgow, upon Brianna’s request. Frankie is afraid that Brianna is determined to bribe her to leave her adored offspring. Thus, she decides to turn on the Poker-Face mode for the occasion, dress discreetly (i.e., all tattoos out of sight), and take a taxi to prevent herself from adsorbing the usual smelly fragrances of the bus. When she finally faces Brianna, she blurts out that nobody buys her off. Brianna replies that she is not that clunky; she does not mean to be an obstacle for their affair. Yes, Brianna guessed that Frankie and Gigi were more than mere acquaintances: she is a snob, not a dumb. However, has Frankie realized that her beloved one is a refined dame used to a life in a golden cage? OK, Gigi has been living in her neighborhood for a week but, how long will it take before she starts getting bored? Brianna does not believe that their relationship is going to last forever, and she suspects that Frankie feels the same. Discouraging Frankie was not the only aim for this rendezvous; Brianna also invites her to the party that they are throwing tonight to celebrate Gigi’s success. Before they say goodbye for now, Brianna announces that Scotland’s most handsome, prosperous, high-class single men will be among guests, all of them eagerly interested in marrying Gigi. The fight has just begun!

As it could not be otherwise, Frankie is welcomed by the MacFarlands’ butler, who leads her to the tea room. There she will meet a polite-but-distant Brianna as well as a new character: Brianna’s mother-in-law, apparently quite amused with Frankie. Not too long after Frankie’s arrival, cat-eyed, good-looking Niall makes his appearance. Who is this guy? Gigi has never told about him! He is introduced as an old friend of the family (not too old according to Frankie).

Suddenly, Gigi pops up, grabs Frankie by her arm and pushes her upstairs. Now locked in Gigi’s five-star room, she cannot help kiss and squeeze her suspicious girl; Frankie tries to figure out why Gigi has been so mysterious about this Niall that Brianna looks up to as if he were the son-in-law of the year. But Frankie does not need to panic, as Gigi explains that she has always put Niall in the friend zone. Does Niall share the same view? Frankie slips into an evening dress from Gigi’s magnificent collection, and then the two of them go downstairs to meet the guests crowding in the banquet hall.

During the dinner, Frankie feels extremely out of place. Niall is sitting close to Gigi, and they both are chatting and laughing and loving it all. To make things worse, the MacFarland patriarch slams current romances via social media, praising the old-fashion style, such as his courtship of Brianna; this (merry?) couple have never been separated since the very moment they met. On the other side of the table, Brianna is glaring at Frankie.

Cinderella never stays after midnight, so Frankie excuses herself and exits the room. Gigi catches up with her to assure that there is nothing to be jealous of Niall or anyone else. Gigi also admits that her mother has tried to persuade Niall into seducing her, but Brianna is nothing but a spoiled girl. Just to get Frankie smaller, Brianna has made too much of her daughter’s social status: in fact, Gigi is seen as a tedious spinster, so there is no horde of suitors anywhere.

Nonetheless, Frankie has confirmed tonight that this life is not for her; she will always feel like a fish out of water. She firmly believes that sooner rather than later social differences will weigh heavily, and she is determined to call things off.

Oh, no! This is the end for these lovely valentines! They are in need of a Fairy Godmother to solve the problem, therefore it is Niall’s turn. He confesses to Frankie that he has never felt attracted to Gigi, as she is not his type. Surprisingly, it is Frankie!! When Frankie realizes that she is on the brink of losing Gigi, she rushes back in the hall. There, before everybody’s eyes, Gigi kisses Frankie. Gigi l’Amorosa: this is all that Frankie needs!

We find a puzzling change in the last chapter; now it is Gigi who tells the rest of the story. She notes that neither Nat nor Bri is happy to see their preppy daughter with that ultra-inked trashy woman. Still, this is not going to mean a schism between Gigi and her parents at this stage of the game. Actually, every time Gigi shows up at home, her only purpose is visiting all the abandoned animals that she has been rescuing and fostering there through the years. Unlike her son and daughter-in-law, Gigi’s Granny approves of their relationship. When she was young, this funny lady was the subject of high society’s gossip given that she married an arty filmmaker, a true scandal at the time. Now she finds very entertaining to have a lesbian granddaughter. When the party is over, the MacFarland heiress says goodbye to Niall and invites him to visit them in Amsterdam in the future. But these passionate quinies’ next stop is Edinburgh, where they have been enjoying la dolce vita for the last ten days. After all, Gigi declares that what she likes most is her girl’s making her laugh. . .and scream in bed.

We must accept that the lady-and-the-tramp love story cliché is not the most unconventional in fiction so far (and particularly in romance novels), but in this case the result is really pleasant because of its Austen-evoking, unceasingly ironic tone. If we had to make a choice on one single feature of Niamh Byrne’s skills, we definitely would take her dialogues. Funny, witty, casual, arrogant, conflicting. . .Not only the protagonists but all the rest of characters are perfectly shaped thanks to the way the author make them speak their minds. This book can also be seen as a reminder of the never-ending problem in this post-2008 economic crisis society: Money. The (seemingly) simplest stories tell the painful truth about the state of affairs plainly, and more often than we use to concede.