The Taste of Her Cherry Chapstick

On Lydia Sánchez and Julio Videras’s Cornelia

Yes! As you may have guessed, here in spanishgayfiction.blogspot.com we could not help recalling Katy Perry’s Sapphic hit when approaching this comic book published in 2008: a dazzling story around the whimsical, mysterious pathways to Happiness.

Our friendly protagonist is Cornelia, a 22-year-old student of Fine Arts. She has two jobs, thus she can’t hardly attend in classroom: in the mornings, as a shop assistant in the comic store Friky Planet; by night, as a waitress in a club.

Cornelia lives in an apartment in Barcelona with two girls and a boy. The girls are:

·Laura, a somehow dull and daffy blonde living in Barcelona for 10 years, trying to make her way in the world of acting though she is not lucky enough in auditions;

·and Rocío, a girl-crazy, passionate brunette, who successfully works in a publicity agency. Cornelia’s colleague in the night club, Pablito Danger, a hornball who jumps into each and every single woman, feels a special (and male-chauvinist) morbid fascination for her. His attitude extremely irritates Cornelia.

Cornelia is kind to the others: Luigi, the Italian restaurant owner; the alley cats she feeds up; the weirdo who is always watching through the other side of the store window; Antonio, the deliveryman; the boy intimidated by his mother. . .but particularly to Salva. He is the owner of Friky Planet (Salva calls freaks to the comic nerds); he is also Cornelia’s Prince Charming. She calls him Culito Perfecto—“Perfect Little Ass.” Salva is a 30-year-old scatterbrain, huge fan of comics, roleplaying, horror movies and Italian food. He is continuously asking Cornelia to do extra hours, since Salva is really busy with his other job in a business consultancy.

Today Cornelia takes advantage from her favor in order to get an invitation for lunch in a wok, as well as a stolen kiss. Eventually, Salva stands her up in the restaurant. Nevertheless, in the afternoon she must go back to the store to do her promised duty.

Later in the club, her girlfriends go to see her at the other side of the bar. There, Cornelia recounts her situation with Salva. Rocío suggests that she ignores men and goes lesbian. To brighten up her day, Rocío tells a funny anecdote about how she flirted with a shop-assistant in a lingerie store. Rocío is always sweet and thoughtful to her. To Rocío, Cornelia is nice, pretty and funny, though just a little bit neurotic. She recommends Cornelia to kiss Prince Charming off and try to find the person she can connect with and feel happy and complete. Cornelia admits that Rocío cares about her more than Salva.

Speak of the devil, Salva makes an attentive appearance, with an apology in his lips and a rose in his hand, guaranteeing a rewarding dinner to Cornelia. Rocío is not at all happy with him.

A week later, Cornelia seems to have forgotten the incident. By taking things slow, Cornelia hopes that Salva takes seriously the chance of a relationship: They together walk out, have lunch, go to the movies, do some shopping—Salva also picks Cornelia up in the club after working all night. He finally passes care inspection, so they arrange a celebration date. Besides, Cornelia has asked her roommates to leave the apartment that night for more intimacy.

The door bell is ringing. Rocío warns Salva not to blow it again, otherwise he would be in serious trouble. Salva gives Cornelia a beautiful butterfly barrette that she immediately puts on her hair to add a sparkling touch to her stunning look tonight.

During the dinner the romantic couple makes a toast with water—tough luck!: It starts raining before entering the hot spot where Salva brings Cornelia after. There, Cornelia will find out Salva’s unexpected skills as a lively dancer. When Cornelia goes to the restroom, Salva’s ex-fiancée Lidia suddenly pops up. Lidia had gone off with an American man, leaving Salva practically standing at the altar. But things did not go well, and now Lidia seems ready to get Salva back at any costs.

Lidia does not accept Salva’s refusal, so she decides to come to the fore and kiss him. Salva acts reluctant at first, but later he lets her take control. To top it all, Cornelia comes back and has a major setback to the delight of Lidia. Our unfortunate heroine rushes out of the club, and walks back home in the rain.

Rocío recognizes her from the taxi. She gets off and shelters Cornelia under her umbrella; she also takes off her coat to cover her soaking humbled friend. Once Cornelia has told the story, Rocío advises her to ignore Salva for good. Cornelia starts saying that she and Rocío—the two of them—in others circumstances—But Rocío does not let her finish: she claims that the world would be a much more beautiful place if people worried about searching for love only, no matter the significant other’s gender. Rocío confesses that she has wanted to kiss Cornelia for too long, and she does it. The passionate brunette has dropped the umbrella: neither of them seems to feel the rain. Cornelia finally kissed a girl—and she definitely liked it!!!

Celedonio: A Nineteenth-Century Negative Depiction of Homosexuality

On Leopoldo Alas’s La Regenta (“The Regent’s Wife”)

WHAT THE HELL!!?? This unquestioned classic work, which may be unanimously considered the best Spanish novel of the 19^th century…, discussed in a blog dealing with an apparently minor issue such as homosexuality in fiction?

If any Spaniard who had to read this novel in the young days of secondary education finds this, then might be possibly wondering: ‘Mmm… What did I skip the time I read it?’

Well, we must take into account that La Regenta (the last volume first published in 1885) is really a long novel. Students have to read loads of books in a year and do not have, or cannot find (for whatever reason, not strictly academic…Yes, I am winking) time to read all of them, so--God bless short cuts in the shape of synopses and summaries!

Thus, the readers get to know just the main plot: An unsatisfied young woman, Ana Ozores, married to an old (impotent) man, finds herself on the horns of a dilemma: whether to follow a path to moral perfection under the guidelines of her soul brother, a perturbing master priest, or let herself be carried away by the persistent wooing of the town’s finest Don Juan. If you have not read this book yet and do not know the ending, I will not spoil it all here. I just invite you to read this keen, witty, ironic, humorous, extremely entertaining comedy of manners, more suitable (and enjoyable) for grown-up readers than confused, bewildered teenagers eager to look at the bright side of life (whistle if you wish.)

Leopoldo Alas, Clarín

Don Leopoldo Alas, commonly known in Spain as Clarín (this is the pen name he used to sign his celebrated journal articles), made up his social satire with Flaubert’s Madame Bovary in mind. As the French author did, he scathingly depicts a petit bourgeois universe. Nevertheless, Alas does not focus on the heroine mainly, but he portrays an unforgettable gallery of characters, of which Celedonio stands out as quite a remarkable case…

Celedonio is a teen acolyte in the cathedral of Vetusta.[1] Alas describes him as a crude, filthy, shabby, dishonest, effeminate boy (regarding this last point, he even compares Celedonio with a streetwalker--)The time Celedonio finds Doña Ana Ozores totally passed out, lying on the floor of the cathedral, the author says he steals a kiss from her just to find out whether it pleases him… When Ana finally bounces back, she feels a disgusting taste of a cold, sticky toad on her lips.

It is clear Alas has poured all his causticity on Celedonio.[2] But do not think of Celedonio as the only target of the author’s moralistic darts. Each and every single resident in Vetusta, no matter what social status they enjoy, receives any kind of punishment. Alas, due to his liberal ideology, is particularly biting the Church members, and his depiction of Celedonio is a good example of this.

Most of his criticism is based on lewdness. Men or women, aristocrats or servants, workmen or clergymen… In Vetusta, everybody is willing to find a sexual opportunity anywhere, anyhow.[3] Obulia, the most popular easy lady among the gentlemen, gets so mesmerized the very moment she stares at beautiful Ana as a barefoot penitent in Holy Week processions that she greedily wishes she were a man--her sole but vivid inclination towards lesbianism throughout the novel--On the opposite side, Frígilis, the best friend of the old Regent’s, totally lacks of any sexual impulse. This way, he is presented as a somehow ridiculous outdoor enthusiast, avoiding the author’s bitterest criticism. However, the same cannot be said in Obdulia’s case… And, of course, Celedonio, as a homosexual boy related to the Church, is (in Alas’s viewpoint) the height of perversion.

Considering the fact that La Regenta is a 130-year-old piece of literature, the current reader cannot expect to find a kind of manifesto for gay rights in it. Anyway, despite all the negative features Leopoldo Alas sprays on him, Celedonio is an exceptional figure in Spanish literary tradition as an early portrait of homosexuality in modern novel.

The curtain had just started to rise.

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[1] Do not try to find it on a map: this is a fictional place. The term means ‘archaic,’ ‘ancient’. It is generally assumed that Alas took the town of Oviedo, in the north of Spain, as a model. If you visit Oviedo, you can come across a sculpture dedicated to the protagonist of La Regenta, significantly close to the cathedral. In this same town you can also meet Woody Allen in bronze--but that is another story.

[2] The point that Leopoldo Alas makes Celedonio show up meaningfully in the first and last chapters of the novel (that is to say, Celedonio opens and closes the story) can give a hint of the importance the author gives to this secondary character and its symbolism.

[3] This oversexualized atmosphere reminds me of Arthur Schnitzler's Dream Story (1926)--on which director Stanley Kubrick based his controversial film Eyes Wide Shut (1999)--The Austrian author tells the story of Dr. Fridolin, a married young man who, after discovering his wife’s sexual fantasies for other man, takes disappointed a journey through the streets of Vienna, finding several chances for easy sex. Whether he seizes any opportunity... Well, I will not say a word: Just read this wonderful novella by one of the best fin de siècle European writers.