Babes’ New World

On Julia Ortega’s bilogy Desde Londres con glamour (“From London with Glamour”):

vCaprichos del destino (“Whims of Fate”), and

v Nuestro lugar en el mundo (“Our Place in the World”)

Sorry so much for the dreamiest, most expectant fans of futurology, but in the not too distant tomorrow (two decades’ time) our planet will definitely not be chock-full of flying cars or any other puzzling, astonishing pieces of junk—At least that is what Julia Ortega puts forward in her recently released couple of novels: a world where people is still texting via WhatsApp through iPhones (Apple Inc. staff may easily relax: their business has a long life ahead); there is also a craze for the same current trendy clothing labels; in political terms, the Western world is still enduring Islamic terrorist attacks, and Israel is the same battleground as we all know it—there is only a significant political change: in Spain, the territory of Catalonia has finally gotten independence. But this is just the background of what the author wants to tell—

In her bilogy, Julia Ortega portrays an unconventional family saga in which women rule at best. Judith Ordóñez, the most rebellious of them all (the most individualistic as well), will face the risky, horrifying effects of free speech firsthand. Judith is a Spanish writer/journalist who settles in London due to the whims of fate. She leaves behind the grievous memories of an impossible love story with another woman, malleable Bárbara, who eventually marries a girlfriend of Judith’s, Michelle. In Caprichos del destino we find out that Michelle’s motives for this marriage are so sick and twisted that she embodies a striking combination between Amanda Woodward and Dr. Kimberly Shaw. That is to say, she is a total soap opera bitch.

In contrast to Judith, her daughter Gillian is a much smoother character, far away from the roar of wars and conflicts. Even her girlfriend and then stepsister Alex(andra) tends to be more spirited than her.

Despite what the first lines of Caprichos del destino may suggest, the truth is that this is not an overt political manifesto. The powerful voice of Judith, role model of feminist, self-sufficient, politically committed, self-made woman, will be silenced all of a sudden, and a dark menacing shadow hovers over the rest of the characters, particularly Gillian. Anyway, this situation will not be the main point in Ortega’s narration; she seems to be more interested in the sentimental side of the story. Thus, in Nuestro lugar en el mundo she focuses on the troublesome romance between Alex and Gillian.

First pally-wally schoolmates, later teen lovers—Alex and Gillian make the perfect lesbian match, getting through hard circumstances, such as family opposition (Josh, Gillian’s alcoholic, former budding film star father, disagrees in the most aggressive way), or the awkward situation of becoming stepsisters when Josh marries Alex’s mother—However, Alex and Gillian’s affective ties are quite weaker than imagined: Alex goes to New York for a wonderful job opportunity, and this forced separation opens this so-happy-so-far couple’s eyes to new horizons—

On one hand, Gillian feels tempted by Sam—a male colleague teacher engaged to Olimpia, a bossy hag—, who falls for her the very first moment that he looks at Gill in her astonishing Prada costume. On the other hand, Alex wins the heart of Saffron Adams, an American pop star whose sexual identity has never been revealed to the public—not even to her scary, conservative mother, who suspiciously resembles any of those arrogant Belles of the South fanning themselves proudly (how else?) in Margaret Mitchell’s Gone with the Wind. Out of sight, out of mind—so Sam and Gill unexpectedly get pregnant, while Alex experiences a little hell in her life because of Saffron’s bad-influence friends—though happily recovers from an almost fatal overdose in the end.

Despite disregard, treachery, and deception, Alex and Gill finally make peace, and Alex expresses her wish to see Sam and Gill’s daughter Maerwyn grow up. After all, she is the baby’s auntie.

And if you are missing the ineludible presence in any proper chick lit piece (i.e., the heroine’s gay friend)—then let me introduce Saffron’s friends Eric and Rowan; as charming as pleasant, with a pinch of superficiality, they accurately personify the stereotypical gay couple who is there in the bad times to comfort.

As narrative style is concerned, Ortega’s speech is interestingly delivered: in each chapter, one of the characters tells the story from their viewpoint. This device is especially hilarious when it is Gill’s turn; her debates with her own conscience are foolishly insane.

Feminism, lesbianism, committed literature, politics, family troubles, romance, sex, alcoholism, notoriety, drug abuse, assault, pregnancy, terrorism, situation comedy, soapy plots—each and every single issue, significant or small talk, is present in this funny mixed-up two-volume patchwork set in a future where the woman is the boss—and all the men are merely supporting players.

My Best Gay Friend’s Wedding

On Olivia Ardey’s Bésame y vente conmigo (“Kiss Me and Come with Me”)

What would be of gays and lesbians worldwide without our times’ bestselling literary subgenre which is helping so much in the question of visibility—? Of course, I am talking about chick lit!

We are so familiarized with this ultra-entertaining fiction that frequently skip the point that it may be the most recurrent genre in LGBT themes because of the usual presence of gay characters. For instance, I remember the well-known Bridget Jones saga (by Helen Fielding), where a gay man—a 1980s one-hit music wonder—is one of the heroine’s best friends, and a young, extremely beautiful colleague of Mark Darcy’s is a lesbian ardently mad about our favorite soppy, hopeless, foul-mouthed Brit girl.

The eternal duality confused straight girl/understanding gay friend has been carved out through the years. In this novel, we find a curious situation: Nico, the name of this time’s gay friend, is both a woman’s (Celia) and a man’s (Álvaro) most coveted supportive confidant. The three of them have been friends since their childhood, and share the same godfather. After his death, they find out that this dark, reclusive man’s last will states that all his possessions—which include an appealing vineyard—would belong to the one of them who gets married first. Just think that this same situation, years ago, would instantly get the gay character out of competition—unless he were ready for a big cheat, indeed!—Nowadays, the gay character can hit the jackpot as fairly as the others. Normalization is the rule in here.   

Far from the marginal pattern, Ardey presents her character in a completely social adaptation. In fact, his description is just mouth-watering: Nico is an attractive alpha male type (at last in appearance, for I would say your gaydar may detect certain irony, quite revealing, in his speech—), successful workman (he is one of those popular in cooks on TV shows), into sports (he devoted his healthful, athletic body to play amateur soccer—yes, that rough, manly activity)…, nice, funny, helpful, charming man—So then… why is Nico still single?

As it happened in the cloak and dagger drama of the Spanish Golden Age, no positive character can eventually end up unmarried, so the author has saved for Nico a fairy godmother in the shape of Celia’s good natured grandpa: the only one who can see through Nico’s flawless façade just to find a concealed broken heart. Nico could never forget a love from the past, and his godfather—you can guess this old man stands out as the forces of the most archaic tradition—secretly ruined any chance of reconciliation.

And this time it will not be the straight girl who will lend a helping hand in Grandpa’s plan to make her gay friend happy, but Álvaro. He will be in charge of bringing Nico’s beloved, Max, together with him. If you want to figure out how Max is like, just imagine a dead ringer for Nico—but with a delightful French accent! The existence of these two perfect affectionate alpha men proves Heaven does not want angels to be alone—And, of course, the wedding bells toll for this cute, desirable gay minor characters. 

A step forward would have these two guys as the main protagonists of an erotic-romantic novel—but that would be another novel. Let’s be content with the lovely little village Olivia Ardey has created for us in the Eastern part of Spain, her own Innisfree,[1] where Celia and Álvaro, the straight leading characters, finally melt—after a series of misunderstandings—in each other’s arms, and a gay couple can make the vast fruitful vineyard their own private Paradise and live happily ever after.

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[1] Innisfree: A fictional small town in Ireland, the idyllic setting for John Ford’s superb masterpiece The Quiet Man (1952). If you still have not seen the film, do it! John Wayne along with Maureen O’Hara show love is really a battlefield—and how!